This story is shared with the hope that it can stir your heart and you can recognise aspects of your own story.
As the first born to a Chinese lineage family, in a multicultural and multilingual town in Malaysia, I was often given confusing messages about religions, cultures and superstitions. With little room to deal with emotions and feelings I was taught to be self-dependent.
Intellectually and academically oriented, a perfectionist and over-achiever, outwardly successful and popular, inwardly, I was disconnected, emotionally distressed, mentally burdened, physically battled, spiritually lost. My heart was empty, yearning to be filled. My spirit was caged, longing to be freed. After ten years of education and working overseas, I returned to the motherland and began discovering and uncovering the inner relationship.
Return to roots
As the career advanced, often in leadership positions, I became conversant with organisational transformation work. I was given wonderful opportunities to cultivate importance of personal growth at workplace. Occasionally I knew there was an inner voice guiding me but didn't always listen, making life changing decisions and mistakes which moulded me.
Then the turning point came when my father died of cancer. Devastated and lost, I desperately wanted to find ways to have peace in my heart. It was during the practice of Hatha Yoga that I could grieve and let emotions go. It was a sacred place to be safe with myself.
To escape from myself, I immersed into work and built a small business while having a demanding job. Though completely overwhelmed, incredible opportunity arose to grow relationships with people from all walks of life in the most rewarding ways. It was during this tremendous change that my husband came into my life.
Follow my Guru
This has been a journey enriched with emotional, mental, physical and spiritual healing. Experiences in Egypt, Peru, Nepal, India, Indo-China and many sacred places were profound.
Opportunities arose to learn from loving teachers in self-healing like Aura-Soma Colour System (a healing system of colours, plants and crystals for self-understanding); EMF Balancing Technique (an energy system for strengthening electromagnetic field for self-empowerment); and Emotional Freedom Technique (an energy psychology for emotional energy clearance). While these tools played a role, my heart remained anchoring in yoga.
My search ended with reading the "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda that awakened the fire in my heart. Sadhana (the path of spiritual discipline and yoga technique of meditation) with my Guru began.
Birth of heartyoga
Retired from the business soon after, I focussed on studying the teachings of Self-Realization Fellowship. After four years, due to physical difficulties, I attended a yoga teachers' training course to heal the body and to gain a better understanding of asana (right postures for bodily and mental control).
Day after day with deepening devotion, my Guru's teachings unfold a little more. The practice of asana gradually evolves. I begin to experience breath synchronising with the postures, creating a symphony within the body, feeling the body like a graceful rhythm of energy dance.
With my friends’ encouragement to share, a journey of deeper unravelling begins. I gradually release from harsh self-judgement, freeing from rigidity and resistance, birthing into a more loving relationship with myself. A new awareness opens up, giving birth to heartyoga.
heartyoga is a compilation of selective practices that has shed much light on my path. It will continue to evolve as the awareness and connection with my inner-self deepens. I realise more than ever that every blessing received comes from divine grace.